just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Hello my rib-scented angel!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
