You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
