I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
