He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
