mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
