i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
FUCK WHALES
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