I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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