Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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