you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
