yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Is it because I queefed?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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