Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
