Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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