U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
