You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
