I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
