new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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