What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
