dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
