so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I need moral support for this bender
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
BRING THE BAGELS
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
