The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
