I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
