Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
