apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
