I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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