I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
