I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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