Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
