I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
