Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
