..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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