Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Randomize
