Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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