I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
