Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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