i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
