Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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