4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
