there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
