i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
A+ Viking dick
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
