Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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