You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
