So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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