Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
