508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
