there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
