Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
