for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
