Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
