Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
