Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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