Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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