Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I have post one night stand depression
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
