Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize