sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
